Date: 2007-01-28 02:28 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I leave tomorrow for L.A. and I won't be back until Wednesday. I'll do my best to try and post something about what the surgery was like when I get home! I apologize in advance for all the babbling I will be doing, since I will be on drugs and probably lacking sleep. Anyways...my surgery is Tuesday @ 8:30 in the morning.

I'm so nervous! I keep having dreams about it, but they're weird...like it's all the same scenario just with different outcomes. I just feel really unprepared all of a sudden, even though I've done everything I possibly could in advance. It's sort of sad to think I won't have small boobs anymore. Sometimes I really love them, but in the end I think I'll be happier if they are slightly bigger.


Well....wish me luck!

Date: 2007-01-23 18:02 Subject: 1 week until surgery! Security: Public

I'm not nearly as nervous as I thought I would be. I guess because I did so much research and planning before I even decided to do it, I feel a lot more at ease. Also I have a fantastic surgeon and I've watched enough Dr. 90210 and Extreme Makeover that I am hardly surprised by anything anymore.

I am, however, having a really difficult time deciding on a size. I was going to go for a small to medium C cup, but every story I've read, the woman says the only thing she would have done differently is go larger. I don't want my boobs to have a cavern between them, and I want them to feel and appear as natural as fake breasts can, but I don't want to be going under the knife again in 2 years because I want them bigger. I think once I talk to my surgeon and actually see the different sizes I will be able to make a better decision. Ahhh, whatever. This part of the process is all so boring! I know you all only really care about the before and after pics. Don't worry...it's mostly what I care about too. ; )

Date: 2007-01-17 23:14 Subject: 13 days until surgery! Security: Public

I went down to Los Angeles on friday to get my blood work done, since it was going to cost me over $300.00 to get it done here at Kaiser. I took my best friend and we made a road trip out of it, but it honestly wasn't fun at all.

We get to the surgery center and I start freaking out as soon as they hand me a cup to pee in. All I can think about is blood and the fact that it will soon be leaving my body. Of course I can't pee at all, so they just sit me in a chair to take my blood. At this point I'm trying to be all brave and I actually pull it off for a minute.

The second she pulls the needle out and tapes my arm up, I start laughing like a maniac and the nurse tells me maybe I should lay down because my face is really white. I stand up to walk to the table and all of a sudden I'm on the ground blinking up at her. Oh...it isn't over yet. While I'm laying on the table a chinese man with an accent so thick I can't understand a word he says comes in. I finally figure out that he says he is going to do an "Ivy Bleeding Test," which I am clueless about. I have no clue what I'm in for so I just lay there and attempt to hold my tears back. What it turned out to be was a tiny cut on my arm to see how long it takes me to stop bleeding. Anyways...I finally pee in the cup and I'm on my way.


Hopefully they drug me up really good for my surgery or I will be a freaking mess.

Date: 2007-01-08 23:39 Subject: 22 days until surgery Security: Public

I go in tomorrow to get my blood work done, which is making me super nervous. I guess the act of getting the blood taken isn't so horrible [not that I'm looking foward to it or anything], but it means I'm getting realllly close to getting my implants and that is scary!


I've been working out every day and taking vitamins and trying to eat good and all that stuff, but I'm freaking out! Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet that in about 3 weeks I'm going to all of a sudden have boobs. Big boobs.


I just can't wait to throw all my padded bras in the trash. I'm so tempted to do it right now, but I don't think it would be very cool to walk around for 3 weeks with no bra on. My mom is all pissed that I want to go to a full C cup. She thinks I should "feel blessed" that I was born with small breasts. I guess if I used to be 110 lbs. with DD's I might feel that way too. But alas, I was not. I do, however, feel blessed that I have a mom who is willing to pay for me to at least get a pair of C cups.

Date: 2006-11-27 16:12 Subject: 63 days until surgery Security: Public

I am the last person you would expect to be getting breast implants. Seriously, 2 months ago I had to get blood taken and I cried. It's weird though, because I haven't really had many fears about going under the knife. I guess the only reason I waited so long is because society doesn't find it acceptable for someone so young to be getting breast implants. Even now, at 21, I find most people telling me I shouldn't do it or that I should 'wait a couple years.'

I guess it's impossible to tell a man or a woman with larger breasts what it's like to want implants. I want bigger boobs because I've always had small ones. I gave them a chance, and I don't like them. I do not feel incomplete and I'm doing it because it is something I want. I don't really know what more there is to say.



Anyways, I made the mistake today of watching HBO's documentary, "Plastic Disasters." I was just sitting there in front of the TV with my mouth open. My mom warned me not to watch it, but I'm sick and I had to see these so-called disasters. Granted, the documentary was about a nose job, facelift, and liposuction, so I was still feeling pretty secure with my decision. But it made me question just a little bit why people, myself included, would go through so much just to change something that probably doesn't even need changing in the first place.


Oh well, I guess vanity always wins out in the end.



good: I spent at least 30 minutes in Victorias Secret today imagining how great it will be when I can buy cute bras without padding.

bad: I'm supposed to stop taking Advil now, because apparently it can thin my blood and that is no good for surgery. But I have a raging headache and it's putting me in a shitty mood.